I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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