someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
why is half of my head shaved?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
