pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
