Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
