That's intense
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
