fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
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So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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