the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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