btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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