i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
