dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
