I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize