Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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