I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
