She's JV to your varsity
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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