Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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