Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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