Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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