If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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