guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza