I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.