just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
porn star boner night. come get it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS