He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't