I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
