Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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