I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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