the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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