I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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