Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
