I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
