And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
