2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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