We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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