We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
