If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
