are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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