Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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