her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
