YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
