Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
