Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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