I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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