You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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