tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
