We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize