I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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