Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
