My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Randomize