so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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