Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize