i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
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When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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