For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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