I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It was confusing and full of hummus
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it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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