I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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