So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
