Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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