...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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