it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
