why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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