Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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