your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?