in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
