all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset