You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
