our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.