Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
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She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.