i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My feet surprised me
Randomize
