We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
