I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
