I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
