never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize