he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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