You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
