areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
