my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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