Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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